Cliche? Yes.
This is a typical break up that many have experienced and some would say "deal with it and move on". But lets analyze this a bit so at least I could find truth and some sort of enlightment on how to "deal with it and move on" when writing this down.
Every break up is painful; no matter if the decision is mutual or not; and the feeling that your partner decides to go back to his or her ex the moment she ended the relationship with you will hurt even more.
But then, it's life. Bad things come out of the blue and will strike you down when you are at your weakest. And I was in my weakest.
I was weak because I let myself fall in love,
I was weak because I thought I could trust a person that I barely knew,
I was weak because I was dumb,
And that is why I deserve to be hurt.
If you are asking if the girl I'm talking about is the high-school chick that I've been around with for the last 4 months, yes, it is her since there was nobody else in the picture (at least not from my side).
Along the way, we did have our break because of a misunderstanding which makes her decide to go back with her ex back then. But it is until a MUN conference in Ankara, Turkey at Gazi university where I choose to "move on" and she decided to get drunk, call me 30 times, cried on the phone and ask me to come back to her.
Don't get me wrong, I was happy when it happen, not in a mean way but in a positive way where I thought she still loves me (since she said that countless time on the phone) and during that time, I still have feelings for her. She explained to me that she went back to Mehmet Aysal (her ex-boyfriend) cuz she was helping him to convince his parents not to sent him to U.S.A. for college by stating a lie (from what she told me) that both of them are madly in love and that he should stay in Turkey to marry her. No matter how bizarre that reason is, especially coming from a high-school kid, I stupidly chose to believe her.
And that is where I am weak.
I trust her without knowing the full evidence. I trust her because I loved her and that is where I became vulnerable to believe such nonsense.
The relationship continue with its up and down but mostly down. She hides her phone all the time that somehow makes me feel insecure but with her claiming that Mehmet is out of the picture, I feel safe and I try to trust her and treat her right. No cheating, no flirting; mind focused purely on my life, my future and her.
On the 1st of May; three days before she dumped me through a whatsapp message; she went to a trip to Trabzon with her school. It was a 3 day trip outside Ankara and I've decided to make a plan to meet up with her just to have some quality time with my girl outside the city. However she chose not to tell me where she is staying simply because she doesn't want me to go through the "trouble" even though I clearly have stated that I wanted it.
The day after, she apologize and feel sad for not telling me where she stayed so she decided to come to my campus and chill here on Monday, 4th of May 2015 just so that we can catch up, meet up and be that lovely-dovey couple again.
After weeks of not seeing her, that seems to be a good plan and I agreed to wait till Monday morning.
This is literally the chat that I sent and received from her on the day where I should have met with her for the date, 4th of May 2015:
Me : Good morning beautiful, have a great day :) -- 05:49
Oyku: Good morning -- 07:45
Oyku: I love mehmet dhito i'm sorry -- 10:45
Oyku: Dhito i'm so sorry i love mehmet he is my world i want him just him -- 11:19
The day that I thought I'm going to have fun with my girlfriend turn into a nightmare the moment I woke up into these whatsapp messages.
I was stupid for not seeing all the clues and patterns. I was stupid not to realize that I've always been cheated on. While I believe her when she calls her friends or other girls a slut and a bitch, I did not realize I was dating one.
And that is not even the climax of this story :)
That day, my heart is broken, but not because my girlfriend of mine break up with me and get back with her ex at the same time, but because her toy-boy decided find that it is okay to insult a person's race, ethnicity and parents.
Surprisingly this happened at the very same time Oyku decided to fall in love with her ex again
These are the first thought in my head after reading the facebook messages.
- This guy clearly needs to learn English properly,
- He is one ignorant kid
- Immaturity
- Racism at it's best
- This kid has to know that insulting someone's parent's race is never a good thing to begin with.
This message was seen by one of my African friend and he really finds it offensive by the way this person is irresponsibly bashing out a term that was use for slavery and inequality in the past. The brothers that have read them all wants a piece of him and he may have to face a few consequences out of his ignorance.
In the end, I am actually lucky I have the chance to go through this. it's true when they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, at least now I know what a bitch is like and can avoid them in the future. Another thing that I have learn is that trust shouldn't be given by default. It is earned and apparently she did not earn the trust I entitled her with.
At this point, all that is left is onwards and that is the choice I'm taking. I have been hurt, lied to, cheated on and all of these seems to be a justification for me to see this break up as a good turning point.
This young couple deserve each other as one completes the other and I am happy for them. Nothing is better than a slut marrying an ignorant toy-boy.
But even though after all these mess, deep inside I still know I have feelings for this young slutty girl that I use to call "princess". Both of them are young and have a lot to learn and I hope both of them can be a better person in the future. :)
P.S.: I cried while typing these down.
A.G.P.
Klise
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